


“You came crying at my doorstep last year, saying you were suicidal.”

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 5 [2]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 5x04, M/M, Past Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: If Oliver overheard what Annalise said.





	“You came crying at my doorstep last year, saying you were suicidal.”

Connor feels his blood boil, when he actually sees Annalise after he found out what she hid from him. She lied to his face, and the younger man can’t take anymore of her lies. Oliver attempts to stop him from doing what he’s about to do, but his anger is so intense that no one could get in the way of him telling her how he feels.

He follows her into her office, ready to tear her a new one. “Hey. Do you just enjoy lying to us?”

“What?” Annalise asks, thrown off beat. She definitely didn’t expect Connor to ask her that, especially since she made him second chair.

“I saw my admissions file, you called President Hargrove you told her to let me back in.”

“You failed out, Connor. In what world does the same school let you back in?”

“That’s why I asked you to your face for the truth,” the pit in his stomach grows, a part of him can’t believe he’s self-sabotaging himself again.

“And the reason why I didn’t tell you is because I know how insecure you’d be if you thought you didn’t belong here,” Annalise remains calm, knowing to be gentle with him as he’s extremely fragile.

“I’m an adult; I can handle a little disappointment.”

“You came crying at my doorstep last year, saying you were suicidal,” Connor feels like screaming. He hates remembering that feeling he carried back then and still carries to this day. The younger man spends so long pushing out those thoughts that to have them sneak back in just breaks him.

“What?” Oliver’s small voice croaks out. The law student turned around to see the door jammed open by a pen and his tearful fiancé.

“Ollie- you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better, Connor. You wanted to-,” he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, blocking out the idea of the love of his life not being alive, “and you never came to me. I’m glad you went to Annalise for help, but why didn’t you come to me? I hate the thought of you thinking that way and not feeling like you can tell me,” there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Laurel and Michaela couldn’t believe what they were hearing, like everyone else. They assume he’s okay because he doesn’t let anyone know how bad he’s suffering. Not even Oliver.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t bare to ask you for help because I didn’t want you to know that I hated myself so much that I just wanted to stop _everything_... There is so much more to this and I promise you I won’t hide it anymore. I’ll go to you. After all, you now know so there’s no need to bury those feelings.”

“We should go somewhere else,” The older man pushes the door open a little wider, waiting for Connor to walk over. Everyone’s eyes are glued to them, while they make their way out. Oliver grips onto Connor’s hand, scared to let go. Scared over the fact that Connor almost let go.

They walk in silence for a little bit, until they find a place to sit down and discuss it all in detail. As soon as they do, a floodgate opens and Connor breaks. Oliver puts his arm around his crying fiancé, and keeps his tears locked away. “It’s okay... I understand why you didn’t tell me and I’m not mad, just a little worried,” The older man sadly smiles. Connor cuddles up further to him, tightening his eyes shut.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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